I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
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Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
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