You work out of a Hotel?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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