Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
