i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize