It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You had me at "let me see your balls"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
