it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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