Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
