If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
