pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
