i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
