Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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