You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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