its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
