david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
