I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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