Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
