apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize