when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
