I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Best friends brother. Beat that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize