I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
