I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
