i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
