But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
