I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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