Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
