Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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