Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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