thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize