He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
