so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
