Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
