people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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