Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you had me at cake vodka
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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