Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
