my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
