I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
