My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
