Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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