were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
