I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
