I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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