If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
