you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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