i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
