do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
