it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
