You can't motorboat a personality
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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