I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
