12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
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I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Mom said you looked used
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Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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