If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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