I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
