I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
