I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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