this beer tastes like vomit already
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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