I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
