im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
