i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
