I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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