did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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