I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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