Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
