you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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