So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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